Monday, July 31, 2006

The book of my dreams...

I got to the end of my writing day on Saturday and couldn't go anywhere because I've sprained my wrist and that means no dancing, no driving - and I thought, well, I'll read! Yay!! But nothing appealed. Nothing. I must have picked up 20 books in a row that I got from Thrillerfest that I've been dying to read and I couldn't get more than a few pages into any of them.

Here's the problem. I know EXACTLY what I want to read. The trouble is, it doesn't exist yet. I have to write it, first.

I swear that's the only reason I'm a writer. Oh, I suppose I like writing fine, in a masochistic kind of way. But I really only do it because no one else has written the exact story and characters I happen to be looking for, so I have to do it myself.

And, oh, help. The book that I want to read that doesn't exist yet is REALLY HARD. It's multiple points of view and stories within stories... to be perfectly honest I'm not sure I'm ready to write it. It will only be my third book and bluntly, I don't know if I have the chops, yet.

But that's the book I want - the one that I kept tossing all those other books aside for because they aren't IT.

So what am I really going to do - stall for another year and write something else instead? How much sense would that make?

I have about a month to decide, while I finish The Price (which, by the way, was the book I was looking for about a year ago, that hadn't been written yet so I had to do it myself...).

But then, well, I'm afraid I know what's coming.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Radio interview tomorrow - that's Tuesday morning, 8/1/06

If you're on the West Coast, or Australia!, I will be talking about The Harrowing tomorrow morning at 8:45 AM, Pacific Time with Baron Ron Herron on AM radio 1290 KZSB


Milady Insanity said...

You learn to write THIS book. I've seen it in a couple of places, latest on Elizabeth Bear's LJ--clicky here.

So you can write it. It won't be any easier if you wait, I don't think. :)

Plus knowing that you *want* to write it *now* will help propel you through the book, right?

Alexandra Sokoloff said...

Whoa!!! That's essay is so great I have chills!

THANK YOU - that was so exactly what I needed to hear.

It all still scares the shit out of me, but, well, so what?

Tasha Alexander said...

Alex, I feel your pain.

I've been spending a lot of time lately worrying that the one I'm working on is beyond my skills.

But as for writing the book you're looking to read--that is exactly how I think of it. If you don't do that, the end result will be missing something.

And you'll be left still looking for the book of your dreams.

Allison Brennan said...

I'm going to go check May's link . . . but I know exactly what you mean. I have a book I want to write, I book I can't wait to read, and I'm not sure I'm ready for it, either . . . but I know I'm more ready today than I was two years ago when I had the idea, and I don't know if I'll be MORE ready later, know what I mean?

Alexandra Sokoloff said...

Well! I am much relieved to hear that everyone is experiencing the same hell I am.

(Tell me again why we do this? Oh, right - for the FRIENDS...)

Jess Winfield said...

You say, "the book that I want to read that doesn't exist yet is REALLY HARD. It's multiple points of view and stories within stories... to be perfectly honest I'm not sure... if I have the chops, yet."

A friend of mine, and a great writer, gave me some wonderful advice once. I was contemplating writing my first novel, which involved two different points of view in two different time periods that merged to become one at the climax. I really wasn't sure I could pull it off, and thought it was godawfully ambitious for a first novel.

She told me, "if you can imagine it, you can write it."

Alexandra Sokoloff said...

Oh - right. I did say that, didn't I?

But I was talking to YOU, not me!